Little by little I continue to realize the power of my devotion. I notice an equation playing out; what I devote my energy and effort to, my time to, my passion to – that is what grows. How I devote is the texture of that and the determinant of the fruits of that growth. I’ve been taking inventory of the amount of time I spend in thought or action about various topics and asking, “Do I want this topic to be proliferated in my brain space, in my life space?”. In other words, “Do I want the consequence of that?” and “Does the time I spend come from a place of devotion, derived from love?”

Self-care, self development, and self-realization practices are best tasted sweetly, even if they’re challenging at times. With a sense of appreciation, what could be thought of as arduous becomes more palpable, maybe even a comfort, a refuge, a reward. Long ago I started replacing the word ‘commitment’ with the word ‘devotion’ for certain things like parenting, being in relationship, my values, and all things self care. Sometimes I’m resistant to certain new habits and it makes me giggle, like an ancient part of me is programmed to prefer to suffer than to nurture myself. Perhaps it’s an emotion-based subconscious pattern, or a neurological pattern I’m used to. (Analyzation for another time!)

However, I refer to the practices I am devoted to that I once felt were difficult and because of that a different part of me now feels so tenderly grateful. Excuses will volunteer themselves - I don’t have the time, it’s not in my routine, it costs too much, I don’t really like it… I’m sure we all have our collection of go-to excuses that we lean on. So either the root cause of the block needs to be unearthed and befriended, or we simply need to taste the good effects of the practice enough to eventually develop a preference for it. For me, meditation was that. I knew it was the next evolution of my practice as someone devoted to reducing my personal suffering and increasing self care, but I had so many (valid) excuses. Time, yes. Discomfort, yes. Lack of know how, yes. What I didn’t know was how helpful it would be. I didn’t have a big enough why to be motivated to overcome the why nots.

Color me lucky, but in the world of yoga and spiritual pursuits and curiosities that I’m part of, meditation is a common topic, so it was being floated around me, it was in my personal life algorithm, so at least that helps normalize a thing. That didn’t solve the other problems, but my ‘why’ grew and grew. I was outgrowing my exoskeleton because of my personal healing pursuits and I was experiencing destabilizing personal life changes, so I was ready for the next evolution. I created structures to help me move towards meditation – setting the alarm a little earlier, listening to teachers talk about it online, attending classes. I moved in enough to taste the wares – they were good. Devotion though? That took me a little time. Partially I may not have been ready, but partially it was because I didn’t have the right instruction or technique. (I could say the same thing about a great many things in my life!)

After dabbling in many kinds of meditation and mindfulness techniques, which I felt very gratified in the practice of, I’ve landed with a technique that has helped me progress the most and with it a new layer of sweetness in my devotion to, Ojaya meditation. The feeling I have when I sit for my meditations is a feeling of safeness, of being held, of being able to hold myself with compassion. I get up more benevolent, more patient and with ever greater clarity. Over time I’m drawn more spontaneously to circumstances of ever more mutual benefit. Resources avail, and opportunities for me to serve humanity in manners that feel harmonious with my own wellbeing unfold.

Devotion to ‘right’ practices, devotion of the heart, devotion to my highest good in as much mutual benefit to all – these are intentions I weave. These are seeds I seek to encourage others to plant for themselves as well. When we devote to that which renders the greatest fruits, we have enough fruit to share.

So I ask you, what are you devoted to and what are the fruits it bears? And how sweet?