Some of these might just be true, sometimes.

On changing others: Maybe, just maybe, when someone is trying to change someone else its because that other person is defending what, well, sucks about themselves that keeps them from being a better, happier, more effective person. And that other person can see through it and knows that if some changes were made, their person would suffer less, cause less harm and cease to sabotage themselves, but endeavoring to jostle someone else into changing is difficult so other people say things like “love is accepting someone as they are” even though as they are is shitty and they actually ought to change. Which is one of the defining distinctions of a human – we can choose to change. Conversely, sometimes people want other people to change to fit their comfort and preference zone. Sometimes the two intentions coexist.

On gaslighting: What if gaslighting isn’t always gas lighting? What if some people accuse other people of gaslighting them so they can avoid facing up to a very difficult point or truth, even if it might be subtle. Also, what if we are actually living in billions of quantum realities that share a near, but not identical reality and sometimes what seems like gaslighting is actually just someone else’s version of their perceived reality? Except, when people, or media outlets, do intentionally slant the truth or refract reality (propaganda) to change the appearance to convince others that reality is something different. Which is doubly diabolical because it not only erodes the convincee that their accurate interpretations are inaccurate and therefore they can’t trust their own faculties, but also because we humans are, in fact, creating reality by how we choose to see it and so if were told to see it a certain way, even if that way begins as a falsehood, it might become a reality through the power of our ability to create what we imagine.

On boundaries: Perhaps some people utilize the idea of “setting boundaries” to avoid the people or circumstances that trigger them when in fact those people might be showing them where they have personal development work they could be doing for themselves, but by inciting a boundary they’re shortchanging themselves an opportunity for growth. On the other hand, not everyone has to spend precious time or energy with others with whom they have a toxic outcome with when they interface.

On toxic people and narcissists: Nearly every person I’ve heard sling the title ‘narcissist’ at someone, classically and reliably exhibits narcissistic behavior, but can’t see it in themselves because they’re so enmeshed in it that all they can see are other people hurting them with behavior they’re dubbing as narcissistic. Ditto for folks calling other people toxic – usually they themselves are also the black smoke coming out the exhaust pipe of their relationships. Or, the menacing person is the perfect (though painful) match to the person who is over kind, over soft, over trusting. Ultimately, likely they both have both sides of the coin, the question is, which side is facing up?

On empaths: Most everybody has the capacity to “be an empath”, but some people have a proclivity towards being more porous. We are most likely akin to cells in a body. What’s happening to the right baby toe is also happening to the left eye, but they don’t exactly obviously process it as such. However, the foot? The right foot knows when something’s adrift with its baby toe. Some people are acutely aware and might feel things more pronouncedly, but dubbing oneself as an empath can be a slippery slope into victimhood and the dark forest of excuses.

On getting what we want: A) Often what people say they want is much different than the energetic set point for what they’ll experience. Because energetic set points are based on a compilation of our conscious and subconscious thoughts and emotions, plus imprints from our community, culture, family and ancestors girdled by our DNA, so the skim coating of their thoughts that they think are dictating what they want is not as influential as the depths of the lessor known influences, but the conscious mind can be leveraged to shift those deeper commanding set points, somewhat. B) Often people get what they want, but it doesn’t come like they expected, or how, or from whom and so they don’t recognize the fulfillment, or reject it because of the packaging, thus signaling a different outcome than what they think they want.